Emotional Focused Therapy | Dr. Debi Gilmore | #97
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Debi Gilmore, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to discuss Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Dr. Gilmore shares insights into how EFT helps couples strengthen their emotional bonds, navigate pain, and foster connection. She also offers practical tips couples can use to improve their relationships, including the “Four Mantras of Love” and the “ARE” model (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged). This episode is packed with strategies to help couples rediscover connection and navigate challenges in their relationships.
Chapters:
00:00 – Introduction by Dave Schramm
01:08 – Welcome and intro to Dr. Debi Gilmore
02:17 – How Dr. Gilmore began focusing on marriage therapy
05:26 – Impact of marriage on self-worth
06:41 – Introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
08:37 – Tips for applying EFT in your marriage
12:07 – The Four Mantras of Love
14:32 – Importance of vulnerability in relationships
17:52 – The "Building a Lasting Connection" program
21:39 – Helping couples rekindle their connection
26:32 – Conquering your inner critic in relationships
30:45 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
33:34 – Dr. Gilmore's takeaway: Be present for your partner
35:37 – Closing remarks and call to action
About Dr. Debra Gilmore:
Dr. Debi Gilmore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, public speaker, professional educator, author, and co-owner of The EFT Counseling and Education Center, a large mental health clinic specializing in couples therapy serving Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, and Arizona. Debi trains therapists seeking licensure or certification as an Emotionally Focused Therapist. She is co-founder and developer of the Building A Lasting Connection™ and Lasting Connection System™ mats. The Building A Lasting Connection™ (BLC) relationship program is based on her doctoral dissertation focused on premarital education. The Lasting Connection System™ mats and BLC program are being used by therapists and workshop facilitators across the world.
Insights:
Debi: “The takeaway is I need to be better. I need to listen more intently, I need to love more abundantly, and I need to forgive more swiftly. So I'm going to say what I'm taking away is I will apply those things to myself.”
Dave: “I love acronyms. It's the R, the A, R, E, is it? Make sure I got to write the accessible, responsive and engaged.”
Liz: “It's really a combination of what the two of you have both talked about, I love the what's the glory in your story Dave, that's so beautiful. And for Debbie to suggest, when she first sits down with a couple, is to say, tell me about the first time you saw her. Tell me about the first time you saw him. For any of us to really go back in time, whether we've been married a year, 10 years, 30 years, 50 years, to remember those earlier times. They're precious, right? And they're powerful at the same time.”
Debi Gilmore's Resources:
Instagram: the_love.therapist
Facebook: Debi Gilmore
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drdebigilmor
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