Positivity - Creating an Upward Spiral That Improves Your Life & Relationships
When you are feeling positive your brain becomes up to 31% more productive. Today I’ll share several research-based ways to create a positive upward spiral in your life that will lead to flourishing and success.
Positivity can easily get confused with pleasures –chowing down a big hunk of cake, taking down the enemy in a video game, or even sexual intimacy. Now, none of these are necessarily negative, in fact, they are closely related to positivity, maybe even cousins. They can bring happiness and pleasure. But they do affect our brains differently. Bodily pleasures tend to narrow our focus and our mindsets to the object of our desire (the cake, the game, or our partner), and they’re more about immediate pay-offs.
Whereas true positivity does the opposite in our brains. It broadens our mind and pays off down the road. Positive emotions literally open our minds and hearts and broaden our perspective, helping us to notice the good, find solutions to our problems, and see and enjoy the big picture. So it’s a mindset that affects the chemistry within our body and our brain.
Positivity is also more than just putting a smile on your face, or just looking on the bright side. It’s more about increasing positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
One of the prominent scholars in the area of positivity is Barbra Fredrickson. Her research has shown that there is a tipping point of sorts when it comes to a positivity ratio. She suggests that just like ice melts at a certain temperature, people who are languishing can shift to flourishing if their positivity ratio passes the threshold of 3:1 Three positive emotions that lift us up for every one negative emotion that drags us down.
So flourishing people are not just happier, but their entire mindset, their outlook, and even their way of being, is different. And just like a healthy meal nourishes our bodies, positivity nourishes the brain, and even speeds up the process of healing, strengthens our immune system, and the development and changes in the cells throughout our body. So in a very real way, positivity and the positive emotions we experience literally transform us, which not only helps us out today, but tomorrow and next week, and next month, and on and on into the future.
But if we simply force ourselves to say “I’m going to be more positive” –it can backfire. This unrealistic push to just be more happy can actually be toxic and unhealthy. It’s important to recognize negative emotions when you have them. It’s normal to experience sadness when a loved one dies, to be upset when a child disobeys, or to feel fear if you’re alone in a scary or unfamiliar place. These are all very real and normal emotions to feel and experience in these situations. So positivity is not about forcing yourself to feel positive all of the time. It’s more about creating a mindset and outlook that is generally positive and slowing down and enjoying the good in our lives.
For example, I feel gratitude and inspiration at work after a Zoom meeting where I get to see amazing colleagues around the state and be uplifted by them. I felt gratitude when an 8-year old neighbor girl brought over a plate of brownies and a personal note to our family. I experience joy when I play with our little yorkie and when he snuggles on my lap. I feel love when I make a hot breakfast for my children in the morning or play basketball with my son. I felt gratitude as I had lunch with a close friend and we shared laughs and memories. This! This is what positivity is, AND it can be found everywhere.
The principle is this: Positivity is intentional, it’s being mindful of what I’m experiencing, who I’m with, and focusing on the positive aspects of life. And somehow these magical moments add up and have a power that can change what we see, and how we see it.
Now, we all have the power to turn positivity on and off. Try it right now. Turn positivity on. Notice your physical surroundings, whether you’re at work, home, or on the go. Take a few deep breaths and then honestly ask yourself these questions:
What’s right about my current circumstances?
What makes me feel blessed or lucky to be where I am?
What do I enjoy about right now?
Making time to ask yourself these questions and reflect on the good in your life can bring humility and appreciation.
The major point here is that whether or not you experience positivity depends enormously on how you think. It depends on whether you slow down and make time to find the good, feel the good, then feed the good, and continue in the moment and let it grow.
I hope you’ll remember that each person’s pathway to positivity and flourishing is just like a fingerprint –it’s going to be personal and unique. As you discover what brings positive emotions into your life and into the lives of those around you, you’ll flourish in transforming ways.
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