Gottman’s 7 Day Love Prescription | Dr. Dave Schramm & Dr. Liz Hale | #82
In episode 82, Dave Schramm and Liz Hale explore the profound insights of doctors John and Julie Gottman's latest book, "The Seven Day Love Prescription". They delve into practical advice taken from extensive research on thousands of couples, focusing on strengthening relationships through simple actions and deeper understanding. They discuss the significance of turning towards your partner, the power of touch, the importance of asking open-ended questions, and the brain's tendency to focus on negativity. This episode provides valuable tips for fostering a deeper connection and revitalizing your marriage by incorporating daily habits that enhance love and affection.
00:00 - Dave introduces the new book: 7 Day Love Prescription
00:37 - The power of individuals in a relationship
01:17 - Dave talks about the potential in relationships, emphasizing the impact of small, everyday actions.
01:57 - The science behind love, and referencing a significant study on couples.
03:18 - Liz highlights the misconception about seeking help for marriages only during troubles.
03:55 – It’s never too late to improve a relationship.
04:42 – Exploring the book's seven chapters, each introducing a relationship-building habit and the ease of integrating these into daily life.
05:37 - Liz shares insights on the power of little moments of physical connection and the science behind touch.
06:42 – Turning towards your mate: Dave and Liz demonstrate through a role-play.
07:57 - The surprising findings of Gottman's research on turning towards one's partner and its impact on marital success.
09:23 - The importance of understanding your partner's dreams and fears through asking big, open-ended questions is analyzed.
12:05 - Liz talks about the non-necessity for both partners to be equally passionate about marriage research, sharing her own experience.
16:13 - Contempt is identified as the largest predictor of divorce, with strategies on how to combat negative sentiment.
20:50 - The role of admiration in a relationship and the mathematics of relationship positivity.
22:51 - The underestimated importance of touch and kissing in relationships and its neurological effects.
28:57 - The episode concludes with a discussion on the most satisfying sex lives based on non-sexual relationship habits and the power of touch.
37:35- Liz’s takeaway of the day
38:02—Dave’s takeaway of the day
Insights
Dave’s
Slowing down and understanding your partner’s world takes humility. I love the word compassion, as we've talked about humility. And let me add gratitude; expressions of appreciation for the little things of being thoughtful. Kindness and gratitude is two sides of the same coin. When someone is kind, hopefully the other person is grateful. And they recognize that and understand each other's worlds. It’s hard to settle on one thing, but kindness could change a marriage. Slow down and be a little more kind, little more gentle, a little more thoughtful.
Liz’s
You know, what I have loved is how we've talked about how healthy "we" consists of healthy "me" and I'm really the only person in the relationship that can really guarantee how I show up right? I am only in control of me. So I think when I show up paramount with kindness, I think that is the key.
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Dr. Liz Hale: