Why We Argue So Much? | Laura Heck and Zach Brittle | #121

Feb 24

Today Laura Heck and Zach Brittle, co-hosts of Marriage Therapy Radio, break down why couples argue and how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way. Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s research, they explore practical strategies to express needs, take responsibility, regulate emotions, and increase appreciation. Whether you're looking to stop recurring fights or strengthen your connection, this episode is packed with actionable insights to improve communication and create lasting harmony in your relationship.

Chapters:

0:00 - Introduction
01:20 - Hello and Welcome Laura and Zach
02:23 - Where did you begin?
06:04 - Highlights of working together
11:08 - Handling Disagreements
16:43 - Goal #1: Expressing Needs
19:22 - Goal #2: Take Responsibility
22:28 - Goal #3: Managing Physical Responses
24:47 - Goal #4: Appreciation
29:47 - Case Study Scenario
33:10 - Other Examples of Responding
36:34 - What is a key to a stronger marriage connection
39:56 - Laura and Zach resources
40:41 - Zach's Takeaways
42:03 - Laura's Takeaways
43:34 - Liz's Takeaways
44:16 - Dave's Takeaways
44:59 - Closing

About:

Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist, specializing solely in helping couples navigate conflict and intimacy. She co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, leads The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work workshop, coaches women in the Epic Wives Experiment, and speaks for The Gottman Institute.

When she’s not working with couples, Laura enjoys trail running with her dog, experimenting in the kitchen, and playing (admittedly bad) golf. She’s been married for 16 years and has a seven-year-old son.

Zach Brittle is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) with nearly 20 years of experience in evidence-based couples therapy. He co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, created Your Marriage Masterclass, and authored The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. His insights have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Vanity Fair, and more.

Married to Rebecca for 21 of 23 years, Zach lives in Seattle with their two daughters. They own a minivan and still use most of their wedding silverware.

Insights:

Laura: "Gratitude is a practice that requires reminders. Set an alarm to text your partner appreciation or reflect on what you're grateful for—it’s a simple habit that strengthens relationships."

Zach: "Laura and I are transitioning Marriage Therapy Radio, and I’m feeling sad about it. I’ve loved these meaningful conversations, and it’s bittersweet to see this chapter close."

Liz: "Timing matters in conversations. If my husband isn’t ready to discuss something, I check in later. It helps ensure we both have the bandwidth for important talks."

Dave: "Take responsibility for your emotions. Before reacting, look inward—cultivate patience, compassion, and understanding. It’s about getting your own heart right first."

Laura's Links:

Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast
Workshop For Couples
Epic Wives Experiment
Laura's Gottman Profile

Zach's Links:
The Relationship Alphabet
Marriage Therapy Journal

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

StrongerMarriage.org

podcast.strongermarriage.org

Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

TikTok: @strongermarriagelife

Dr. Dave Schramm:

https://drdaveschramm.com

https://drdavespeaks.com