8 Words For Resilience
Here are 8 words that will be helpful to improve your resilience at home and at work. These 8 words will help you be successful and lead a life of resilience and flourishing.
Did you know that an estimated 70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives?
While it’s true that all of us experience challenge sand stress in our lives, most of us will also experience trauma as well. For some it may be a single incident, such as an bad accident, or watching a loved one die, or a long process such as divorce. For others the trauma may be repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse or severe chronic illness.
These are all difficult situations and my heart aches for those who are suffering or who have suffered in traumatic ways. So I’m here to share some research tips that can help boost resilience. And my definition of resilience is basically the ability to thrive, adapt, and cope despite tough and stressful times –it’s the good news we need to counterbalance the traumatic adverse experiences in our past or present.
Here they are:
Search Inward. Each of us are born with inner strengths, gifts, and talents. The first step is to search inward and discover these, cultivate them, and use these inner character strengths. In fact, here’s a homework assignment, take some time to complete the free VIA Signature Strengths survey at https://www.VIAcharacter.org This assessment will crank out your top 5 signature strengths. So print them out, write them down, or jot them in your phone because these are the building blocks that can help you through times.
The second part of Search Inward is about cultivating flow. Flow happens when we immerse ourselves in an activity that consumes us, we sometimes even lose track of time. We give it our entire attention and it often stretches us a bit, using our strengths and skills in something productive and worthwhile. Athletes refer to this flow state as being in “the zone.” This could include anything from reading a book, to cooking, cleaning, doing a puzzle, building something or playing an instrument. Time seems to fly by and we don’t realize it because we’re so wrapped up in what we’re doing. So find time for flow!
Turn Outward. While Searching Inward is all about you and your strengths, Turning Outward in never about you. Stress and trauma tend to do the opposite and turn us inward. So Turning Outward is really about using your strengths, talents, and time to turn outward, think about others, and do good for others, both within and outside your household. It’s about making time to be kind. It’s about not just feeling grateful, but expressing gratitude and appreciation to others, through a text, a phone call, or a thoughtful act of service. It’s a smile, it’s showing love. Turning outward is action oriented. It’s both feeling and doing.
In fact, across dozens of studies, doing a kind act produces a brief high of happiness faster than any other exercise scholars have studied! So let’s try it. Right now. Take 30 seconds right now and ask yourself, “Who needs a text of love or appreciation from me right now?” Now, a name or a face will come into your mind. Act on it. Send them a text right now. This is Turning Outward. Go ahead and pause this and send the text and then pay attention to what happens inside. That good feeling is what scholars call elevation –it feels good to do good.
Turning Outward is also about turning to loved ones, friends, and family for support during or after a crisis. In fact, some studies show that social support is one of the strongest predictors of resilience. In some cases this means reaching outward for professional counseling and therapy.
Look Upward. Stress and challenges tend to bring us down, both physically and emotionally. I see people who have had messy lives, and their faces point downward. Looking Upward is about increasing our positivity, holding on to hope, and finding meaning and purpose through trials and trauma. It’s asking, “what can I learn from this?” “How can I be stronger because of this?”, and “How can I be better because of this?”
Another big part of Looking Upward is relying on our religious faith or spirituality. Countless studies across numerous cultures has shown that spirituality and looking upward to a higher power helps bring meaning, but also peace and comfort.
Press Forward. Trauma and trials can certainly slow us down and even stop us in our life journeys. Pressing forward is about refusing to give up or give in. It’s about being persistent and patient through adversity.
Sometimes we get stuck in the past and want to rehash it over and over in our minds or with others. And talking with others about the past can be helpful. But being held hostage there is not healthy. In other words, it’s okay to occasionally glance in the rearview mirror of life, but don’t stare. Otherwise you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.
Pressing Forward is also about cultivating realistic optimism, which is the firm belief that your behavior really matters. What you do makes a difference. You may not have had control about what happened to you in the past but you can press forward and help shape the future.
8 Words for Raising Resilience. Search Inward, Turn Outward, Look Upward, and Press Forward! I also want to recommend a great book that you or loved ones may find helpful. It’s called “The Upward Spiral” by Alex Korb, and one of my all-time favorite books about this area.
So as we wrap up, I hope the messages I’ve shared have been helpful. If so, take a second and give it a like, leave a comment, subscribe, and share it with others who may be struggling in their life journey.