Debunking Common Myths About Sexuality | Dr. Dean Busby | #95
Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Dean Busby, a seasoned professor from Brigham Young University, to delve into the truths and myths surrounding human sexuality. The discussion covers a wide range of topics, from gender differences and the impact of religiosity on sexual experiences to the challenges couples face across different life stages, including pregnancy and menopause. Dr. Busby offers expert advice on improving sexual relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in fostering a strong, intimate connection.
#Sexuality #MarriageSex #SexandMarriage #SexMyths
Chapters:
0:04 - Introduction to the episode and guest, Dr. Dean Busby
03:10 - Dr. Busby’s background and interest in studying sexuality
05:26 - Societal divides in sexual experience and comfort levels
07:03 - Challenges students face in learning about sexuality
08:35 - Myth: “Sex is something that just comes naturally”
11:20 - Myth: “Sexually experienced individuals make better lovers”
15:56 - Myth: “Highly religious couples have more sexual hang-ups”
18:22 - Myth: “Most couples develop successful sexual patterns”
20:06 - Myth: “Most couples communicate openly about sex”
24:22 - Gender myth: “Men have a much higher sex drive than women”
31:23 - Gender myth: “Women are fine with sex being more for men”
34:48 - Gender myth: “Men’s and women’s arousal and orgasm pathways are similar”
36:00 - Lifespan myth: “Sexual satisfaction declines dramatically over time”
38:32 - Pregnancy and childbirth myth: “Couples don’t experience sexual challenges”
42:42 - Myth: “High sex hormones lead to better long-term sexual relationships”
47:36 - Menopause myth: “Menopause negatively affects sexual lives”
50:33 - Lifespan myth: “Sex naturally improves once kids leave home”
52:27 - Lifespan myth: “Sex among older adults is gross”
56:14 - Where to find more about Dr. Busby’s work
1:01:09 - Takeaway: Importance of starting conversations about sexuality
1:05:15 - Conclusion and final thoughts
About:
Dean M. Busby, Ph.D. is a professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. He received his Ph.D. in Family Therapy from Brigham Young University. Following his schooling he taught at Syracuse University and Texas Tech University, where he was the department chair, before returning to Brigham Young University. He is a published author of books, book chapters, and research articles in the area of marriage relationships, sexuality, assessment of couples, and relationship trauma. His research has garnered university and national awards and been funded by federal and state grants. Dr. Busby has taught at the university level for more than thirty years, primarily in the area of dating and marriage relationships, sexuality, and research methods. His courses are popular and well-received. Dr. Busby has been married for 40 years and he and his wife Colleen are the parents of three sons and the grandparents of 10 grandchildren.
Insights:
Dean
Dr. Dean Busby emphasizes the critical importance of openly discussing sexuality within families, particularly between parents and children. He shares his emotional experiences with students who have suffered due to their parents' reluctance to talk about sex, fearing that it might encourage experimentation. This lack of communication often leads to unnecessary difficulties for the children. Dr. Busby specifically calls on fathers to take a more active role in these conversations, as they are often the least likely to discuss sexuality, despite the research showing their involvement is crucial. He encourages parents to become a trusted resource for their children, helping them navigate their understanding of their bodies and sexual health.
Dave
There is always hope for improvement in any relationship if individuals are willing to create a safe environment, open up, and communicate, no matter how much time has passed.
Liz
The sexual debut is a crucial experience for both men and women, and it carries significant responsibilities for parents to prepare their children by discussing expectations. The emphasis is on "ladies first," meaning that the sexual experience should be guided by the woman's readiness, requiring men to be patient and considerate. Women also have the responsibility to prepare themselves for lovemaking. Both partners share important roles in the process, highlighting the mutual responsibilities in the cycle of life and sexuality.
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