Making Time For 9…
Today I share some quick and easy tips to help you relate and connect with your kiddos and it only takes 9 minutes a day.
Did you know that one of the most important things you can do for your young children is giving them plenty of meaningful and loving touch?
Sometimes we think as parents that we either need to provide intense and expensive experiences for our children in order to connect with them or we think we are just too busy to give attention to everything our child needs from us. But in reality, we can create and capture connection in small every day moments in our children’s lives and today I’ll share some ideas related to a catchy concept I came up with called, Make Time for 9. And I even put it on a bookmark and give it away for parents to remember.
The first 9 to remember is 9 meaningful touches. Most children and adults thrive with meaningful touch. I suggest at least 9 per day. And these can be anything from straightening your son’s shirt collar to a fist bump with your 4-year old daughter, to wrestling, hugging, or reading to your child on your lap.
Babies need even more touch, you almost can’t overdue it with babies. They need that touch, even skin to skin touch is so healthy for babies. What about teenagers? Yep, they still need touch. Our teenagers need a good swift kick in the rear end at least twice a day –just teasing! The key is meaningful touch! Too much for a teenager can be dangerous for your health!
The next 9 is what I call 9 magical minutes that matter and I break these up into 3 minute chunks. The first 3 minutes of the day when your child wakes up in the morning and you see your child can be crucial, as it sets the tone for the day. Snuggling with them in your bed, or carrying them upstairs to breakfast can be important micro moments of connection. Make those first few minutes when they wake up calm and comforting.
I’ve found it sure goes better than yelling down to them, “get your can out of bed! You’re going to be late for the bus!” Or “why didn’t you get your homework done or get that paper signed last night!?” Again, the key is connection. It’s the idea that people are more important than problems.
The second 3magicalminutesthat matter are the 3 minutes when you first see your child when they come home from school or you come home from work. When you reunite after being gone, take just a few minutes to reconnect and put away your phone or other distractions and listen to their day, have a snack, sit on the couch, turn the TV off and genuinely listen to their lives. I remember my mom doing this as a child. Everyday I had an afterschool snack and talked with my mom, before doing my homework and running off to play for the rest of the afternoon.
The last 3 magical minutes that matter are the last 3 minutes of the day before they go to bed. I get it, bedtimes can create all kinds of chaos with young kiddos. So we do our best as parents to make those very last minutes count. Whether it’s reading and snuggling in their beds with them or singing songs, saying prayers, talking about their day or fun things they have the next day. Children sleep better when they know they are emotionally and physically safe. When they know you love them. So create night-time rituals of connection before they head to bed.
The final 9 in Make Time for 9 is 9 minutes of conversation. It doesn’t have to be 9 minutes straight, but make time to check in, talk to your children individually each day. Find out the best part of their day –we call this a happy thought in the Schramm fam. What made them happy that day. Ask open-ended questions, such as, “tell me about your favorite toy, or memory, or your worst fear, or best friend. Ask them about their favorite place in the world, their favorite food, ice cream, or subject in school.
Invest a few minutes each day to learn something new about your child’s life. You may even want to schedule your own one-on-one date night with your children. Where it’s just you two together, eating an ice cream and talking. Now remember, you may be the one asking all of the questions, and that’s okay. Make the time fun for both of you. I recently had 2 hours of time alone with our 18-year old daughter in our truck and it was so great to listen to her life, her plans, and her fears.
So there you have it! Make Time for 9meaningful touches, 9 minutes of talk-time and enjoy the 9 magical minutes that matter –the first 3 minutes when they wake up in the morning, the 3 minutes when you see them after work or school, and the last 3 minutes of the day before bed. These are transition minutes and you can make them moments of connection.
I’d love to hear what you do one-on-one with your kiddos, so leave a comment, subscribe, share, and give it a like if you found it helpful!