Managing Stress
Today I share 5 tips to help you rethink and reframe the stress in your life .
All of us experience stress in our lives. Whether it’s unexpected car problems, or the daily hassles at home, at work or in our relationships, life can get crazy and overwhelming!
As humans, we thrive with predictability, stability, and routines. We do best, when we know what’s coming next. But it’s important to point out right up front that the goal is NOT to have zero challenges, but rather to balance and manage them in healthy ways.
So here’s an acronym that may be helpful for you as you aim to rethink and reframe stress in your life. It’s the letters H.U.M.E.R. or HUMER.
“H” stands for Humor. Now this one is a bit tricky because in many stressful situations, the last thing we’re thinking about is how funny the situation might look. So this one may not be helpful in the middle of the stress, such as getting a speeding ticket, or a crisis, such as losing your job.
Research shows that being willing and able to see things from a different perspective and to laugh at yourself or the situation can be beneficial. For example, you walk in the kitchen and see cereal or flour dumped out on the floor and your child in the middle of it, or you’re in a hurry and stuck in a long line at the grocery store that takes forever while the other lines are going quickly.
Even if you can just start with a smile when you’re stressed. Just smiling can release feel-good endorphins that begin to melt some of the stress away. Or taking a break and watching a comedy or a funny YouTube video can create laughter, which floods the body with endorphins that help us see the situation differently and appreciate the irony. Plus, people view you as more fun to be around when you handle stress with humor rather than blowing up.
It’s important to point out that humor should be the positive, good-spirited kind and not the negative mean-spirited kind. That just creates anger and resentment –not what we’re after here.
U stands for Understanding. A few deep breaths in the middle of stress can bring oxygen to your brain and help you to understand not only the stressor better, but you can better understand your alternatives and options to manage the stress in healthy ways.
Sometimes it’s helpful to slow down and try to understand things from another perspective. For example, let’s say your young son and daughter are playing in another room and you hear your 4-year old son scream and then look up and see your crying 4-year old chasing his 6-year old sister down the hall with fists raised.
Now this can be stressful, right? While it’s important to prevent harm and help bring peace to the situation, a parent might be tempted to grab the boy and haul him off to timeout. But let’s come back to Understanding. What might happen in your mind if you paused and forced yourself to come up with three reasons why your son SHOULD hit his sister?
Now, it sounds silly, and of course your son shouldn’t hit his sister. But the principle is creating understanding BEFORE commanding. So you might think to yourself, she might have pushed him down, it’s lunchtime and he’s hungry, he hasn’t had a nap yet, or he doesn’t know how to manage his emotions very well at 4 years old. All of these help create understanding and seeing things from our child’s perspective. It still doesn’t mean hitting or hurting is okay, but understanding brings compassion and perspective.
M stands for Meaning. Sometimes stress can cloud our brain and we lose the ability to think straight. In some ways, the key to managing stress is changing how we think about the stressful situation. Because when we change our mind about stress, we can literally change our body’s response to stress. Again, some slow deep breaths and reframe the stress by asking yourself, “What can I learn from this?” “How can I be better from this?”
Think about this in your own life. Have you faced challenges that have become blessings after you have thought about them differently? Can you think of family or friends who have been through stressful situations and turned challenges into blessings?
Research has shown that some stress and challenges can actually help us! They can help us 1. draw closer to other people, 2. develop greater compassion and patience, and 3. we can learn to value the simple things in life.
The E stands for Exercise. In some studies, exercise has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression by 20%. The science is clear on this –move your body to move your brain. So when you’re stressed, even a brisk walk outside to clear your head can work wonders!
The R stands for Resources. When we go through stressful and challenging times, one of the most helpful things is our resources. Some people have tons of resources that help them deal with challenges as they arise. For example, when a person loses a loved one, having a network of caring friends can make a big difference. Another resource is religious faith. Research shows that people who have a strong religious faith and have connections within that faith, are better able to deal with challenges.
Other resources include things like hobbies, journaling, a family pet, savings, and mentors or counselors. Reaching out and talking with other people can help us through tough times. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” So make a list of your resources and use them when the going gets tough.
So there you have it! HUMER! Humor, Understanding, Meaning, Exercise and Resources. These are all science-backed hacks to help you during stressful and challenging times!
I’d love for you to subscribe, leave a comment and let me know what stress hacks work for you and be sure to share this with others if you found it helpful!